Friendship…another one of those complex relationships…seriously speaking...is there some rule book which you’re supposed to read before you embark on the task of making a friend so that you don’t lose that person... at least not unless you want to...
Isn’t friendship all about giving and receiving, about sharing and caring, about patience (you’d want loads of that), accepting your friend for what he or she is, knowing that he/she is not perfect but having the understanding to overlook the faults and not wanting to change him/her just to suit your satisfaction? At least that’s what I thought...
Now, I feel there’s a lot of negativity creeping into this once beautiful and pure relationship. There’s a lot of doubt, envy, hatred, selfishness and other rotten emotions that are ruining close friendships. We have forgotten to forgive and forget... it gets too tedious for some!!!!! Right! Let’s just move on, shall we? Oh, sure there are the memories...but it’s just getting too much! Can’t take it any more...but aren’t the difficulties encountered just strengthening the friendship...you learn new things from your friend and understand different facets of your relationship you have never seen before...
I think we should all learn to be less expectant...let’s not ask and demand too much... I mean, why make things more difficult than they already are... I think the best thing in any relationship...to make it work...is communication. Communication is very important...how else would you know what the other person is feeling...its always best to say that you don’t like a particular habit of the other person and let out whatever is there inside...not speaking will never solve the problem. Never harbour any ill-will towards the other person.
Make an effort to understand that special person more...he/she does not need to show his/her love through gestures or gifts but it’s those little little things that count...when he/she was there for you when you really needed him/her...
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Being Valedictorian
“Some people come into our lives and quickly go, some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.”
Good evening, respected principal, headmaster and headmistress, dear parents and teachers, my juniors and of course my handsome and gorgeous classmates.
As I look at those trees swaying gently in the breeze tonight, I’m reminded of the times, I would watch them dreamily from class, contemplating on whether I should do that particularly dangerous sum on the board or join in the ‘diving-for-food’ syndrome which was particularly catching in the back-benches.
It is quite hard to forget the way I entered as an awed toddler, staring at the pink building (which has now been painted white) that was to be my home during the day.
The first day of school was enough to realize that my entire childhood will be glorious mostly because of FAPS.
FAPS… Family, Achievers, Principles and Sharing. This is what FAPS means to me. The entire school is a big, happy family, where everyone is willing to help each other. I guess it’s because of that special unbreakable ‘Fapsian’ bond between the students. Anyone can recognize a Fapsian a mile away. That cheerful disposition, a bright smile that lights up the eyes and a kind and helpful nature.
Each of us in this school is an achiever. It may not have to be only in academics or in sports (although we do have more than enough achievers striking gold in those fields). No, I’m talking about the little achievements we make everyday. Whether it is to bring a smile to a teary face or to help a friend in that mind-boggling assignment or even to own up honestly for having thrown a paper ball at the teacher when she wasn’t looking. It always depends upon the person’s overall personality. I shall never forget our Principal, Mr. Browne’s wise words, “If a student leaves my institution, a disciplined and well-behaved individual who is although not at all god in academics, I will be happy because I know I have done my job well.” Once you are a disciplined person, I think everything else follows. It is just a matter of time, and these are the principles instilled in us in FAPS, where we learn to be good human beings.
Whether it is from sharing class notes to sharing a Bar One, stealthily eaten in class to sharing personal joys and sorrows, there’s always a hand or ear ready to be lent. Sharing. It’s a quality that defines FAPS.
I learnt the value of my school motto. Courage is indeed Destiny. If one did not ignite that fire in the soul to win, to succeed, and to make something of his /her life and to be unafraid in the bargain, ready to keep trying even after failure after failure. That is courage and that will take one far in love and shape his fate or destiny.
I also learnt to be happy. Happy in whatever I did – taking pleasure in little things – helping a junior, lending a hand, listening – It wasn’t difficult. Being rewarded for hard work, making other people laugh. I learnt to be content with whatever I had.
I think we all know why we’re here. Although the last statement sounds mighty stupid, I’ll still stay, “This is our big night!” The last time some of us stood here draped in a white sari or wearing a tie, we knew we were coming back. Nothing could pull us away from beloved FAPS. But now…we have no choice.
The truth has sunk in at last. No more will we see the faces of our classmates greeting us every morning. No more the tantalizing smell of a friend’s chicken curry or puri-chana in class. Will we ever again be able to bully our juniors or at the same be treated generously by them? There are too many things to miss about FAPS and its inhabitants.
The friendly banter between teacher and student. Sharing juicy class gossip with no…not each other but with teachers. Sneaking into the Physics lab to receive a slice of cake left over after the staff birthday parties. No more will Mrs. Thomas give us girls tips on how to lose weight or listen to Dr. Krishna Rao’s patient lectures.
I could go on for hours listing out memories that are just pouring out of my mind but that can be as easily stored away again. Beautiful memories, happy ones, sad ones, unbearable ones. All a part and parcel of school life. Will I ever panic at the sight of a Math paper? Yes, of course, but will I ever look around and see familiar faces like my own and feel comforted by the thought that I’m not the only one who doesn’t know anything? I don’t think so.
Friends who comfort me not with words but silent companionship are the ones I can find only in FAPS. Teachers who share a great relationship with us based on trust and respect, who always know that you haven’t understood that particular theory can be found only in FAPS. A jolly principal who earns respect so easily, an understanding headmaster and a wonderful and kind headmistress can all be found at FAPS.
My classmates and I have a lot of people to thank for making our childhood such hours of happy abandonment… well…not exactly abandonment, but let’s say they were golden days.
First, our families, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape or, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. Our parents, who have put us in this great establishment, supported us, watched us grow from tiny toddlers to young independent people, always there for us when we needed them, putting up with our temper tantrums and mood swings, protecting us and allowing us to understand the mistakes we’ve committed. Thank you, dear parents. Thank you very much.
Secondly, to our teachers, who have nurtured and mould us into what we are now. We know you enjoyed every second you spent teaching us despite the fact we loved torturing you. We will miss every one of you sirs and ma’ams who left an indelible mark on us.
Lastly, we have to thank each other. You all are the friends I will always keep close to my heart. Every one of you is a gift I have given myself. I enjoyed every minute of our last days…our last lunch assembly, morning assembly, last half day, the last time we could ever eat freely in class, our last fest, picnic, and music competition…
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see another class of such foodies. I’ll never be able to see the guys scrambling for food at a corner of the classroom while Mrs. Sita Lakshmi is turned to the board and us girls screaming from the other corner, “Pass some here, pass some here!!” I’m going to miss you.
I’m going to miss gazing at those trees swaying in the wind one cool summer afternoon and trying to decipher a Chemistry equation. I’m going to miss that smell of house spirit on Sports Day.
FAPS, to me, has been my small world, my own realm where I’ve grown as an individual, prepared and groomed for the biggest examination, the toughest test outside this haven – life. We all know one thing, that when we leave this safe haven, we’ll leave a part of ourselves here only to be greeted when we come back for every special occasion of FAPS or to see our juniors or even if we pass FAPS from outside.
Before I step offstage, please allow me to quote some phrases that will help us in life generally.
® There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy and its only reward is that it’s easy.
® Kindness in words creates confidence
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness
Kindness in giving creates love
® Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.
® In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit.
® Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
® Having a dream isn’t stupid; it’s not having a dream that’s stupid.
® The heart of a fool is in his mouth but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart.
® Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
® Obstacles are those frightful things that you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
® People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
Thank you for being such a patient audience. Good luck to all of us.
“Youth is like diamonds shining in the sun
And diamonds are forever.”
Good evening, respected principal, headmaster and headmistress, dear parents and teachers, my juniors and of course my handsome and gorgeous classmates.
As I look at those trees swaying gently in the breeze tonight, I’m reminded of the times, I would watch them dreamily from class, contemplating on whether I should do that particularly dangerous sum on the board or join in the ‘diving-for-food’ syndrome which was particularly catching in the back-benches.
It is quite hard to forget the way I entered as an awed toddler, staring at the pink building (which has now been painted white) that was to be my home during the day.
The first day of school was enough to realize that my entire childhood will be glorious mostly because of FAPS.
FAPS… Family, Achievers, Principles and Sharing. This is what FAPS means to me. The entire school is a big, happy family, where everyone is willing to help each other. I guess it’s because of that special unbreakable ‘Fapsian’ bond between the students. Anyone can recognize a Fapsian a mile away. That cheerful disposition, a bright smile that lights up the eyes and a kind and helpful nature.
Each of us in this school is an achiever. It may not have to be only in academics or in sports (although we do have more than enough achievers striking gold in those fields). No, I’m talking about the little achievements we make everyday. Whether it is to bring a smile to a teary face or to help a friend in that mind-boggling assignment or even to own up honestly for having thrown a paper ball at the teacher when she wasn’t looking. It always depends upon the person’s overall personality. I shall never forget our Principal, Mr. Browne’s wise words, “If a student leaves my institution, a disciplined and well-behaved individual who is although not at all god in academics, I will be happy because I know I have done my job well.” Once you are a disciplined person, I think everything else follows. It is just a matter of time, and these are the principles instilled in us in FAPS, where we learn to be good human beings.
Whether it is from sharing class notes to sharing a Bar One, stealthily eaten in class to sharing personal joys and sorrows, there’s always a hand or ear ready to be lent. Sharing. It’s a quality that defines FAPS.
I learnt the value of my school motto. Courage is indeed Destiny. If one did not ignite that fire in the soul to win, to succeed, and to make something of his /her life and to be unafraid in the bargain, ready to keep trying even after failure after failure. That is courage and that will take one far in love and shape his fate or destiny.
I also learnt to be happy. Happy in whatever I did – taking pleasure in little things – helping a junior, lending a hand, listening – It wasn’t difficult. Being rewarded for hard work, making other people laugh. I learnt to be content with whatever I had.
I think we all know why we’re here. Although the last statement sounds mighty stupid, I’ll still stay, “This is our big night!” The last time some of us stood here draped in a white sari or wearing a tie, we knew we were coming back. Nothing could pull us away from beloved FAPS. But now…we have no choice.
The truth has sunk in at last. No more will we see the faces of our classmates greeting us every morning. No more the tantalizing smell of a friend’s chicken curry or puri-chana in class. Will we ever again be able to bully our juniors or at the same be treated generously by them? There are too many things to miss about FAPS and its inhabitants.
The friendly banter between teacher and student. Sharing juicy class gossip with no…not each other but with teachers. Sneaking into the Physics lab to receive a slice of cake left over after the staff birthday parties. No more will Mrs. Thomas give us girls tips on how to lose weight or listen to Dr. Krishna Rao’s patient lectures.
I could go on for hours listing out memories that are just pouring out of my mind but that can be as easily stored away again. Beautiful memories, happy ones, sad ones, unbearable ones. All a part and parcel of school life. Will I ever panic at the sight of a Math paper? Yes, of course, but will I ever look around and see familiar faces like my own and feel comforted by the thought that I’m not the only one who doesn’t know anything? I don’t think so.
Friends who comfort me not with words but silent companionship are the ones I can find only in FAPS. Teachers who share a great relationship with us based on trust and respect, who always know that you haven’t understood that particular theory can be found only in FAPS. A jolly principal who earns respect so easily, an understanding headmaster and a wonderful and kind headmistress can all be found at FAPS.
My classmates and I have a lot of people to thank for making our childhood such hours of happy abandonment… well…not exactly abandonment, but let’s say they were golden days.
First, our families, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape or, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. Our parents, who have put us in this great establishment, supported us, watched us grow from tiny toddlers to young independent people, always there for us when we needed them, putting up with our temper tantrums and mood swings, protecting us and allowing us to understand the mistakes we’ve committed. Thank you, dear parents. Thank you very much.
Secondly, to our teachers, who have nurtured and mould us into what we are now. We know you enjoyed every second you spent teaching us despite the fact we loved torturing you. We will miss every one of you sirs and ma’ams who left an indelible mark on us.
Lastly, we have to thank each other. You all are the friends I will always keep close to my heart. Every one of you is a gift I have given myself. I enjoyed every minute of our last days…our last lunch assembly, morning assembly, last half day, the last time we could ever eat freely in class, our last fest, picnic, and music competition…
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see another class of such foodies. I’ll never be able to see the guys scrambling for food at a corner of the classroom while Mrs. Sita Lakshmi is turned to the board and us girls screaming from the other corner, “Pass some here, pass some here!!” I’m going to miss you.
I’m going to miss gazing at those trees swaying in the wind one cool summer afternoon and trying to decipher a Chemistry equation. I’m going to miss that smell of house spirit on Sports Day.
FAPS, to me, has been my small world, my own realm where I’ve grown as an individual, prepared and groomed for the biggest examination, the toughest test outside this haven – life. We all know one thing, that when we leave this safe haven, we’ll leave a part of ourselves here only to be greeted when we come back for every special occasion of FAPS or to see our juniors or even if we pass FAPS from outside.
Before I step offstage, please allow me to quote some phrases that will help us in life generally.
® There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy and its only reward is that it’s easy.
® Kindness in words creates confidence
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness
Kindness in giving creates love
® Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.
® In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit.
® Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
® Having a dream isn’t stupid; it’s not having a dream that’s stupid.
® The heart of a fool is in his mouth but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart.
® Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
® Obstacles are those frightful things that you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
® People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
Thank you for being such a patient audience. Good luck to all of us.
“Youth is like diamonds shining in the sun
And diamonds are forever.”
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Deceiver
Monday mornings were the worst. Anusha managed to drag herself to the sink and splash some cold water onto her face. She grimaced at her thin reflection in the mirror. Those brown eyes had less of their usual sparkle.
“Maybe I won’t go today,” she thought.
*****
She rushed out of her room, a whirlwind of colours, tugging on her too-tight short bright orange top and at the same time trying to unsuccessfully comb down her wild curly hair, almost knocking down her mother who was coming into her room with garlands of flowers in her hands.
“Those pants are falling off off you, and will you take out those ear-plugs before they become part of your body…come to the temple with me and let us pray to the Goddess Durga so that she manages to knock some sense into you…when will you learn to be a typical Tamilian girl?! God help me! You are almost twenty-one! You should have been married long back! And don’t forget…”
Anusha interrupted her mother’s monologue exasperatedly, “I’m late as it is, Amma, and please! We’ve been through all this before…I’ll be back before nine!”
Kissing her mother and brushing her mother’s hands and protests away, escaping that outstretched finger with some yellow powder on it moving towards her forehead, she ran desperately out into the bright sunshine and heaved a sigh. She almost jumped in fright when she saw a tall figure coming towards her.
“Thathaji…”one agonized whisper and she turned hurriedly but it was too late.
“Anusha, where are you going?” a loud and gruff voice demanded.
“Umm… a group project… thatha...”
“In those clothes…”, one eyebrow raised unbelievingly.
“My friends and I are going out after that.”
“Where?”
Anusha knew that this interrogation would never end and looked for a way to escape.
“Arre, Nanda saab, how are you?” an angel in the disguise of Uncle Paresh was at the gate.
“Okay, bye thatha…”
“What time are you coming back?” Anusha’s grandfather called after her retreating back.
Anusha pretended she never heard, although she could feel two disapproving glares behind her back.
*****
“So, how have you been feeling, lately?” asked Aamir.
“Still the same… lousy,” Anusha replied.
“Your folks haven’t noticed how thin and sick you look?”
“Is it that bad?! Do I look that bad?” She dove into her bag trying to look at her entire face in her tiny pocket mirror. “No, man! I was just joking! You’ve actually grown really fat.”Aamir tried to hide a grin unsuccessfully. Anusha threw him a punch. “Obviously I look perfectly fine if my parents haven’t noticed.”
“Her face does look a bit tired and wan though,” thought her best friend worriedly.
*****
“Appa, do you want some more water?” asked Aditya.
His father turned his head, eyes sunken in, a tired face, yet he still managed a smile at his eldest child.
“No, it’s all right. I’m fine. Where’s Anu…” Here a bout of coughing overcame him.
“She’s out…as usual…what a question…,”Aditya muttered.
Just then the topic of their discussion burst in.
“You’re early,” Aditya remarked.
Anusha looked at her wristwatch and frowned. “It’s 9:30.”
“Well…usually you say you’ll be back by nine and you come at ten.”
“Oh…whatever Anna, How are you feeling, Appa?” She looked down at her father who somehow looked a little livelier since his daughter had come in. He just smiled at her. She sat with him for some time, recounting her day, almost like a little girl boasting of her achievements. A quick kiss on the wrinkled cheek and she left, leaving the room drearier in her wake.
“Aditya, you can leave me now.”
“No, it’s all right; I’d rather sit with you.”
The father looked at his son affectionately and with a tinge of sadness. From morning till night, Aditya sat beside him except when he had to go to college. Sometimes he wished he was more like Anusha. Anusha was like a ray of sunshine. She recovered quite quickly after his accident and so had his dear wife. They were strong. His own father was there to keep an eye on them. However it was Aditya who worried him. It was Aditya who always helped him. He didn’t allow anyone else to come near. Aditya’s devotion was a bit disconcerting at times.
His son thought, “Just look at him. Wasting away. It’s just not fair. If…if he hadn’t gone out that…that day…ironic that he had just stepped out of a temple…after thanking God… when that blasted bomb went off! Crippled for life! Those bloody Muslims! Hell! I wish I could make them pay for what they did to my father… how I wish…”
*****
“Have one more chapatti, Anu,” wheedled her mother. “You’ve grown so thin…you girls of today…all diets and shmiets…”
“Oh please… I’m not like girls of today… they’re all shallow, useless creatures who run after guys…”
“Anushaaa…”her grandfather’s deep baritone voice rumbled a warning.
“And who do you hang out with? Only guys, I suppose,” her brother observed.
“How are you any different, Anusha?” asked her grandfather with a smile.
Anusha shrugged. “Maybe I will have another chapatti…Ohh…and by the way, Aamir is coming for lunch tomorrow.”
Everyone at the table except her exchanged looks. She knew it and chose to ignore it.
“I don’t know why…”, her mother began. Anusha said quietly in a serene voice, “I will be friends with him, no matter what you say. Our religion says to accept a guest with civility and I trust you will do that tomorrow, Amma… please… like how you always do.”
“After what happened to our father…,”interjected Aditya angrily.
“Aamir didn’t bomb that temple,” she cut across smoothly “and he was my friend before it happened. You never did like him.”
*****
“Remove your slippers! I don’t need to tell you. This isn’t the first time you’ve come here, you know.”
“Don’t remind me, the only reason I come here is because your mom cooks better food than at the orphanage and today’s Visiting Day,” Aamir told Anusha.
They entered the house, one with trepidation and the other with impatience.
“I hope you’ve told your mother that I haven’t had a bath.”
Anusha giggled. “She’d probably have a fit…but you did bathe, right?”
“What do you suppose? Oh oh…here comes the Colonel Nandakumar Chakravarthy.”
“I wish you wouldn’t joke so,” said Anusha as her grandfather came into view.
“Hmm…there’s an improvement…I don’t have to eat on a leaf. There’s a paper plate and a plastic glass kept for me.”
Anusha looked at her friend. “You aren’t offended by this nonsense, are you?”
“I have an open mind.”
Anusha guffawed. “You’re too saintly for your own good.”
After lunch, which according to Anusha was a bit better than usual with respect to the atmosphere, they took a walk in the garden.
“Your brother is okay, right?…”
“Aditya? He’s always been like this.”
“Well, he looks sadder and more bitter than usual.”
“Hmmm…”
“When did your father…when did that accident happen? When we were ten, no?”
“Ya, Aditya was fourteen.”
“Almost ten years ago…”
“Umm… I know I shouldn’t have done it,” Aamir looked uncomfortable. “I sort of went into Aditya’s room by mistake and I saw his diary lying on the table and I picked it up and read a few pages.” Aamir went red.
“Why did you do that?” Anusha looked shocked.
“Well…he’s always so quiet and reserved…I just felt curious about what was behind that dignified expression.”
“Was your curiousity satisfied?” Anusha sounded angry.
“More than…,” Aamir said quietly. He bought out a small notebook from his pocket. “I copied down some of his phrases to show you.”
“When it comes to a choice between death and changing of one’s faith, many people would choose the latter. I would never commit such a sacrilegious deed. In the sacred book, it clearly instructs to kill all nonbelievers. What kind of God would ever instruct people to kill others? sounds really evil to me. Muslims don’t talk with their mouths; instead they talk with their swords. I just hope that one day we can get rid of these Muslims, so that we don't have to see the world soaked with the blood of the innocent every day.
RSS is the only thing that can save India or else it will end up a country where Sikhs, Hindus, Jains and Buddhists will be mistreated in the control of Muslims and Christians.”
“Then there’s this cutting.” Aamir took out a newspaper article. “You can keep it back in his room if you want.”
“I also found a blown-up picture of LTTE chief Prabhakaran with the words “My Favourite Terrorist.” scrawled on it. If that isn’t cause for concern then tell me what is?”
“Should I tell someone?”
Aamir shook his head. “What’s the point? For all you know we could just be overreacting… then again I think you should tell your Grandfather. He might be able to sort of help Aditya deal with this hatred. He was in the Army after all.”
Anusha agreed. “Aditya is after all a History student and to tell you the truth he is actually incapable of hurting a fly…I think.”
*****
“Three bombs went off simultaneously in and around the majestic mosque that lies on Seville Road, last evening. The right wing was blown off killing at least fifteen persons in the surrounding area. Twelve died within the mosque and twenty five were injured. Police Commissioner Rajeev Desai said…”
Aamir threw the newspaper down and his first thought was to reach Anusha’s house.
To his surprise as he neared her house, he saw all police cars leaving the area, the sirens blazing. Quickening his step, with a beating heart, he opened the gate and went in. The Colonel was standing in the doorway and he looked so frightfully furious that Aamir shrank back. He fixed Aamir with a hostile eye.
“Umm…Uncle is…Anu…”
“Keep away from my girl or you wait and see…she’s not here…get out!”
Just then, Anusha came running up and taking her grandfather by the hand she led him into the house and saying soothingly, “Thathaji, appa is asking for you.”
Aamir waited until she came back and she took his hand and led him into the garden.
“The police were just here. They took away Aditya,” she said in a low voice.
“What!?”
“Amma has gone into hysterics. Appa is just lying there like as though he had expected it all along. Thatha…don’t ask…I thought he was going to shoot every one of those officers… He kept saying we were a pious god-fearing Brahmin family and how dare they arrest the grandson of an army Colonel,” she looked at Aamir with red-rimmed eyes.
“I kept telling them they had no proof, whatsoever, they seemed to think that those rubbishy things of his which we read were proof enough. On top of everything else, they found his Swiss army knife collection and Thatha’s treasured rifles. After that, there was no stopping them. They told us they will keep Aditya in custody until they get some answers. I don’t know what to do.” She started sobbing. Aamir hugged her and stroked her hair. “Hey, it’s all right, everything’s going to be all right. They’ll know it isn’t him. It’s just a huge misunderstanding.”
She looked at him. “Aamir, he was out last night and nobody can vouch for him.”
*****
There was a smile of satisfaction on Aditya’s face as he thought about the bombing, in his lonely cell. Yet he felt only a little bit glad. He wanted more violence. He wondered what his mother was doing, probably doing some puja for his release. He doubted it would be of any use. His Thathaji had overreacted as usual, yet he had not missed the doubt and the look of disgust that had creeped into his Thatha’s eyes…and Anu…she must be partying as usual…nothing will come in her way…unless she wanted it to. He hated her and that Aamir… What hurt him most was the look in his father’s eyes…who would look after him now…There were tears in Aditya’s eyes.
*****
He hid behind the bush and waited for the night policeman to continue his beat, when suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.
They found a map of the General Hospital on the man with details of where the bombs were to be set off. Grimly, they sat the man in a chair and the interrogation began.
*****
“Aamir, those stupid policemen released Aditya, I told you he was innocent.” Anusha’s excited voice came on the telephone.
“Hey, that’s great…”
“And you know what...hey! wait a minute, someone’s at the door…”Aamir heard the doorbell ring again and waited patiently for Anusha to return.
The silence was broken by a scream.
“Anu…Anu!!! Hello!! Hello!” Aamir hung up and dashed out.
*****
As Aamir neared Anusha’s home, it was déjà vu all over again.
He could hear someone wailing and sobbing. There was a huge crowd gathered outside. Pushing his way through, he came at last to the door. Hesitating outside for just a moment, he reached out to open the door when it was flung open by a policeman. Aamir was pushed and he fell back.
No one had eyes for him. They were all watching the policemen leading the person away.
“No…no,” an involuntary moan escaped him.
Anusha’s raven black hair hid her face as she walked. It wasn’t a defeated step. She held her head high. She didn’t see him. Aamir turned back to see her mother lying on the steps in a faint. Never before had he seen a family so broken up. Anusha’s father was leaning on his son and gazing after her with such a desperate look that tore at Aamir’s heart. Nandakumar Chakravarthy was still in shock. He kept staring ahead.
Aamir caught snatches of conversation around him.
“They have finally caught the ringleader of this whole operation. She was going to bomb the hospital next…where they have taken the injured from the mosque bomb blast. What a cruel and hard-hearted woman she must be.”
“Her brother was taken away at first. Seems they took the wrong sibling.”
“I heard one of her group gave them all away. However two or three escaped.”
It was a long walk for Anusha from her house to the jeep that would lead her to her fate. Before she got in, she turned around to have one last look of her home, her eyes passed over her family standing outside.
Her brown searching eyes met Aamir’s eyes finally, before he never saw her again.
******
“Maybe I won’t go today,” she thought.
*****
She rushed out of her room, a whirlwind of colours, tugging on her too-tight short bright orange top and at the same time trying to unsuccessfully comb down her wild curly hair, almost knocking down her mother who was coming into her room with garlands of flowers in her hands.
“Those pants are falling off off you, and will you take out those ear-plugs before they become part of your body…come to the temple with me and let us pray to the Goddess Durga so that she manages to knock some sense into you…when will you learn to be a typical Tamilian girl?! God help me! You are almost twenty-one! You should have been married long back! And don’t forget…”
Anusha interrupted her mother’s monologue exasperatedly, “I’m late as it is, Amma, and please! We’ve been through all this before…I’ll be back before nine!”
Kissing her mother and brushing her mother’s hands and protests away, escaping that outstretched finger with some yellow powder on it moving towards her forehead, she ran desperately out into the bright sunshine and heaved a sigh. She almost jumped in fright when she saw a tall figure coming towards her.
“Thathaji…”one agonized whisper and she turned hurriedly but it was too late.
“Anusha, where are you going?” a loud and gruff voice demanded.
“Umm… a group project… thatha...”
“In those clothes…”, one eyebrow raised unbelievingly.
“My friends and I are going out after that.”
“Where?”
Anusha knew that this interrogation would never end and looked for a way to escape.
“Arre, Nanda saab, how are you?” an angel in the disguise of Uncle Paresh was at the gate.
“Okay, bye thatha…”
“What time are you coming back?” Anusha’s grandfather called after her retreating back.
Anusha pretended she never heard, although she could feel two disapproving glares behind her back.
*****
“So, how have you been feeling, lately?” asked Aamir.
“Still the same… lousy,” Anusha replied.
“Your folks haven’t noticed how thin and sick you look?”
“Is it that bad?! Do I look that bad?” She dove into her bag trying to look at her entire face in her tiny pocket mirror. “No, man! I was just joking! You’ve actually grown really fat.”Aamir tried to hide a grin unsuccessfully. Anusha threw him a punch. “Obviously I look perfectly fine if my parents haven’t noticed.”
“Her face does look a bit tired and wan though,” thought her best friend worriedly.
*****
“Appa, do you want some more water?” asked Aditya.
His father turned his head, eyes sunken in, a tired face, yet he still managed a smile at his eldest child.
“No, it’s all right. I’m fine. Where’s Anu…” Here a bout of coughing overcame him.
“She’s out…as usual…what a question…,”Aditya muttered.
Just then the topic of their discussion burst in.
“You’re early,” Aditya remarked.
Anusha looked at her wristwatch and frowned. “It’s 9:30.”
“Well…usually you say you’ll be back by nine and you come at ten.”
“Oh…whatever Anna, How are you feeling, Appa?” She looked down at her father who somehow looked a little livelier since his daughter had come in. He just smiled at her. She sat with him for some time, recounting her day, almost like a little girl boasting of her achievements. A quick kiss on the wrinkled cheek and she left, leaving the room drearier in her wake.
“Aditya, you can leave me now.”
“No, it’s all right; I’d rather sit with you.”
The father looked at his son affectionately and with a tinge of sadness. From morning till night, Aditya sat beside him except when he had to go to college. Sometimes he wished he was more like Anusha. Anusha was like a ray of sunshine. She recovered quite quickly after his accident and so had his dear wife. They were strong. His own father was there to keep an eye on them. However it was Aditya who worried him. It was Aditya who always helped him. He didn’t allow anyone else to come near. Aditya’s devotion was a bit disconcerting at times.
His son thought, “Just look at him. Wasting away. It’s just not fair. If…if he hadn’t gone out that…that day…ironic that he had just stepped out of a temple…after thanking God… when that blasted bomb went off! Crippled for life! Those bloody Muslims! Hell! I wish I could make them pay for what they did to my father… how I wish…”
*****
“Have one more chapatti, Anu,” wheedled her mother. “You’ve grown so thin…you girls of today…all diets and shmiets…”
“Oh please… I’m not like girls of today… they’re all shallow, useless creatures who run after guys…”
“Anushaaa…”her grandfather’s deep baritone voice rumbled a warning.
“And who do you hang out with? Only guys, I suppose,” her brother observed.
“How are you any different, Anusha?” asked her grandfather with a smile.
Anusha shrugged. “Maybe I will have another chapatti…Ohh…and by the way, Aamir is coming for lunch tomorrow.”
Everyone at the table except her exchanged looks. She knew it and chose to ignore it.
“I don’t know why…”, her mother began. Anusha said quietly in a serene voice, “I will be friends with him, no matter what you say. Our religion says to accept a guest with civility and I trust you will do that tomorrow, Amma… please… like how you always do.”
“After what happened to our father…,”interjected Aditya angrily.
“Aamir didn’t bomb that temple,” she cut across smoothly “and he was my friend before it happened. You never did like him.”
*****
“Remove your slippers! I don’t need to tell you. This isn’t the first time you’ve come here, you know.”
“Don’t remind me, the only reason I come here is because your mom cooks better food than at the orphanage and today’s Visiting Day,” Aamir told Anusha.
They entered the house, one with trepidation and the other with impatience.
“I hope you’ve told your mother that I haven’t had a bath.”
Anusha giggled. “She’d probably have a fit…but you did bathe, right?”
“What do you suppose? Oh oh…here comes the Colonel Nandakumar Chakravarthy.”
“I wish you wouldn’t joke so,” said Anusha as her grandfather came into view.
“Hmm…there’s an improvement…I don’t have to eat on a leaf. There’s a paper plate and a plastic glass kept for me.”
Anusha looked at her friend. “You aren’t offended by this nonsense, are you?”
“I have an open mind.”
Anusha guffawed. “You’re too saintly for your own good.”
After lunch, which according to Anusha was a bit better than usual with respect to the atmosphere, they took a walk in the garden.
“Your brother is okay, right?…”
“Aditya? He’s always been like this.”
“Well, he looks sadder and more bitter than usual.”
“Hmmm…”
“When did your father…when did that accident happen? When we were ten, no?”
“Ya, Aditya was fourteen.”
“Almost ten years ago…”
“Umm… I know I shouldn’t have done it,” Aamir looked uncomfortable. “I sort of went into Aditya’s room by mistake and I saw his diary lying on the table and I picked it up and read a few pages.” Aamir went red.
“Why did you do that?” Anusha looked shocked.
“Well…he’s always so quiet and reserved…I just felt curious about what was behind that dignified expression.”
“Was your curiousity satisfied?” Anusha sounded angry.
“More than…,” Aamir said quietly. He bought out a small notebook from his pocket. “I copied down some of his phrases to show you.”
“When it comes to a choice between death and changing of one’s faith, many people would choose the latter. I would never commit such a sacrilegious deed. In the sacred book, it clearly instructs to kill all nonbelievers. What kind of God would ever instruct people to kill others? sounds really evil to me. Muslims don’t talk with their mouths; instead they talk with their swords. I just hope that one day we can get rid of these Muslims, so that we don't have to see the world soaked with the blood of the innocent every day.
RSS is the only thing that can save India or else it will end up a country where Sikhs, Hindus, Jains and Buddhists will be mistreated in the control of Muslims and Christians.”
“Then there’s this cutting.” Aamir took out a newspaper article. “You can keep it back in his room if you want.”
Indian Police Reports Say Governing Party Arranged Attacks "Police say a local leader of India's governing party and officials from a Hindu nationalist group linked to it led mobs that burned to death 107 Muslims during religious riots. Police reports obtained by The Associated Press on Tuesday named several important figures in two attacks in the city of Ahmedabad, part of riots that have killed 512 people."
"One report said nine people including local Bharatiya Janata Party leader Deepak Patel headed Hindus who burned to death 42 people, including former Parliament member Ahsan Jaffrey, in the Muslim residential area known as Gulbarg Society in Meghaninagar.” These persons, armed with weapons, led a mob of 20,000 to 22,000, which attacked Gulbarg Society and set it ablaze,'' said the report by Kirit Erda, senior inspector-in-charge of the Meghaninagar police station."
“This is just a cutting…he likes collecting articles…like this. Wonder why though he highlighted all this stuff…” Aamir could see that Anusha was a bit shaken.“I also found a blown-up picture of LTTE chief Prabhakaran with the words “My Favourite Terrorist.” scrawled on it. If that isn’t cause for concern then tell me what is?”
“Should I tell someone?”
Aamir shook his head. “What’s the point? For all you know we could just be overreacting… then again I think you should tell your Grandfather. He might be able to sort of help Aditya deal with this hatred. He was in the Army after all.”
Anusha agreed. “Aditya is after all a History student and to tell you the truth he is actually incapable of hurting a fly…I think.”
*****
“Three bombs went off simultaneously in and around the majestic mosque that lies on Seville Road, last evening. The right wing was blown off killing at least fifteen persons in the surrounding area. Twelve died within the mosque and twenty five were injured. Police Commissioner Rajeev Desai said…”
Aamir threw the newspaper down and his first thought was to reach Anusha’s house.
To his surprise as he neared her house, he saw all police cars leaving the area, the sirens blazing. Quickening his step, with a beating heart, he opened the gate and went in. The Colonel was standing in the doorway and he looked so frightfully furious that Aamir shrank back. He fixed Aamir with a hostile eye.
“Umm…Uncle is…Anu…”
“Keep away from my girl or you wait and see…she’s not here…get out!”
Just then, Anusha came running up and taking her grandfather by the hand she led him into the house and saying soothingly, “Thathaji, appa is asking for you.”
Aamir waited until she came back and she took his hand and led him into the garden.
“The police were just here. They took away Aditya,” she said in a low voice.
“What!?”
“Amma has gone into hysterics. Appa is just lying there like as though he had expected it all along. Thatha…don’t ask…I thought he was going to shoot every one of those officers… He kept saying we were a pious god-fearing Brahmin family and how dare they arrest the grandson of an army Colonel,” she looked at Aamir with red-rimmed eyes.
“I kept telling them they had no proof, whatsoever, they seemed to think that those rubbishy things of his which we read were proof enough. On top of everything else, they found his Swiss army knife collection and Thatha’s treasured rifles. After that, there was no stopping them. They told us they will keep Aditya in custody until they get some answers. I don’t know what to do.” She started sobbing. Aamir hugged her and stroked her hair. “Hey, it’s all right, everything’s going to be all right. They’ll know it isn’t him. It’s just a huge misunderstanding.”
She looked at him. “Aamir, he was out last night and nobody can vouch for him.”
*****
There was a smile of satisfaction on Aditya’s face as he thought about the bombing, in his lonely cell. Yet he felt only a little bit glad. He wanted more violence. He wondered what his mother was doing, probably doing some puja for his release. He doubted it would be of any use. His Thathaji had overreacted as usual, yet he had not missed the doubt and the look of disgust that had creeped into his Thatha’s eyes…and Anu…she must be partying as usual…nothing will come in her way…unless she wanted it to. He hated her and that Aamir… What hurt him most was the look in his father’s eyes…who would look after him now…There were tears in Aditya’s eyes.
*****
He hid behind the bush and waited for the night policeman to continue his beat, when suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.
They found a map of the General Hospital on the man with details of where the bombs were to be set off. Grimly, they sat the man in a chair and the interrogation began.
*****
“Aamir, those stupid policemen released Aditya, I told you he was innocent.” Anusha’s excited voice came on the telephone.
“Hey, that’s great…”
“And you know what...hey! wait a minute, someone’s at the door…”Aamir heard the doorbell ring again and waited patiently for Anusha to return.
The silence was broken by a scream.
“Anu…Anu!!! Hello!! Hello!” Aamir hung up and dashed out.
*****
As Aamir neared Anusha’s home, it was déjà vu all over again.
He could hear someone wailing and sobbing. There was a huge crowd gathered outside. Pushing his way through, he came at last to the door. Hesitating outside for just a moment, he reached out to open the door when it was flung open by a policeman. Aamir was pushed and he fell back.
No one had eyes for him. They were all watching the policemen leading the person away.
“No…no,” an involuntary moan escaped him.
Anusha’s raven black hair hid her face as she walked. It wasn’t a defeated step. She held her head high. She didn’t see him. Aamir turned back to see her mother lying on the steps in a faint. Never before had he seen a family so broken up. Anusha’s father was leaning on his son and gazing after her with such a desperate look that tore at Aamir’s heart. Nandakumar Chakravarthy was still in shock. He kept staring ahead.
Aamir caught snatches of conversation around him.
“They have finally caught the ringleader of this whole operation. She was going to bomb the hospital next…where they have taken the injured from the mosque bomb blast. What a cruel and hard-hearted woman she must be.”
“Her brother was taken away at first. Seems they took the wrong sibling.”
“I heard one of her group gave them all away. However two or three escaped.”
It was a long walk for Anusha from her house to the jeep that would lead her to her fate. Before she got in, she turned around to have one last look of her home, her eyes passed over her family standing outside.
Her brown searching eyes met Aamir’s eyes finally, before he never saw her again.
******
All I ever really needed to know I learnt in kindergarten.
The below excerpt is from my favorite Chicken Soup for the Soul book - I wanted to record it here to read it with fond memories when 30-year-old me chances upon this blog later!
Most of what I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be, I learnt in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate mountain but there in the sandbox at nursery school.
These are the things I learnt: share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people.
Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice-they all die. So do us.
And then remember the nursery rhyme Jack and Jill and the first word you learnt, the biggest word of all: LOOK. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and Politics and sane living.
Think of what a better world it would be if we all-the whole world-had cookies and milk and about 3o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it is still true; no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is better to hold hands and stick together.
The universe is one great kindergarten for man. Everything that exists has brought with it its own peculiar lesson. The mountain teaches stability and grandeur; the ocean immensity and change. Forests, lakes and rivers, clouds and winds, stars and flowers, stupendous glaciers and crystal snowflakes-every form of animate or inanimate existence leaves its impress upon the soul of man. Even the bee and ant have brought their little lessons of industry and economy.
Most of what I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be, I learnt in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate mountain but there in the sandbox at nursery school.
These are the things I learnt: share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people.
Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice-they all die. So do us.
And then remember the nursery rhyme Jack and Jill and the first word you learnt, the biggest word of all: LOOK. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and Politics and sane living.
Think of what a better world it would be if we all-the whole world-had cookies and milk and about 3o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it is still true; no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is better to hold hands and stick together.
The universe is one great kindergarten for man. Everything that exists has brought with it its own peculiar lesson. The mountain teaches stability and grandeur; the ocean immensity and change. Forests, lakes and rivers, clouds and winds, stars and flowers, stupendous glaciers and crystal snowflakes-every form of animate or inanimate existence leaves its impress upon the soul of man. Even the bee and ant have brought their little lessons of industry and economy.
A few lessons I learnt when I was a teenager…
Life’s tough for a screwed up teenager. If you have seen any teenager who is normal, please mail me, I would like to observe this new kind of species…
Life doesn’t always turn out the way we teenagers want. Yup, we love to groan and moan about how rotten the world is, why our parents NEVER understand us, why the HELL do we have to study anyway?
I hate hormones!
When the love bug bites, spray a bit of HIT (or any other pesticide available at your nearest department store) on it and squish it with your foot.
When you fall in love, it’s not every time that your ‘sweetie pie’ reciprocates your feelings.
True love is not when the other person knows you like him/her and makes use of you. True love is when you know that the other person will be there for you, no matter what.
Keep your feelings to yourself and don’t let the ‘loved one’ know or you’ll be in for a huge ego-filled-attention-seeking battle. It could also ruin a could-be close friendship.
Unless you’re sure that the person you’ve got your eye on truly likes you, don’t move in for the kill!
If ever you have to tell the person you feelings, do it just before you never going to see them again.
Everyone wants to impress everyone else and it’s great to be Mr. Popular and Ms. Popular. You really don’t know what people are saying about you behind your back and sometimes you do.
When people develop a mindset about you, it’s difficult to throw it off.
We all live in a make-believe world and when we’re out of it, we put at least five to six masks on our face and build walls around us through which only a privileged few can penetrate and even then, they are in for a surprise!
Life doesn’t always turn out the way we teenagers want. Yup, we love to groan and moan about how rotten the world is, why our parents NEVER understand us, why the HELL do we have to study anyway?
I hate hormones!
When the love bug bites, spray a bit of HIT (or any other pesticide available at your nearest department store) on it and squish it with your foot.
When you fall in love, it’s not every time that your ‘sweetie pie’ reciprocates your feelings.
True love is not when the other person knows you like him/her and makes use of you. True love is when you know that the other person will be there for you, no matter what.
Keep your feelings to yourself and don’t let the ‘loved one’ know or you’ll be in for a huge ego-filled-attention-seeking battle. It could also ruin a could-be close friendship.
Unless you’re sure that the person you’ve got your eye on truly likes you, don’t move in for the kill!
If ever you have to tell the person you feelings, do it just before you never going to see them again.
Everyone wants to impress everyone else and it’s great to be Mr. Popular and Ms. Popular. You really don’t know what people are saying about you behind your back and sometimes you do.
When people develop a mindset about you, it’s difficult to throw it off.
We all live in a make-believe world and when we’re out of it, we put at least five to six masks on our face and build walls around us through which only a privileged few can penetrate and even then, they are in for a surprise!
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