Frustration

LOVE… why does it hurt? Why does it ache? Maybe because we love too hard and too deep that sometimes we forget to keep a little for ourselves…

Does it not hurt when the one you love does not see the fact that you will do anything for them?

Does it not infuriate you that whatever you do just does not seem enough?

And here comes the best part… when they know that they can trust you, and know that you can never let them down intentionally or foolishly because they mean the world to you, somehow, when anything goes wrong they blame you for it.

Why can’t they see how much you love them? That you would never do anything to hurt them?

I knew this couple where the lady would be frustrated with the fact that the man would not take any initiative to do anything. It would always be her idea to do something and the man would just follow through. At one point the woman felt that maybe her man did not feel like doing anything and that she was forcing him to give into any desire of hers. Anger followed by tears led her to take the decision of not bothering at all to go out anywhere since it looked like the man in question was not enthusiastic enough. The bewildered man could not understand what the whole fuss was about…

The fact is men are quite dumb :) Simple. It’s not like I am coming up with some new revelation. The fact is men are quite intelligent but when it comes to deciphering a woman’s feelings they become quite clueless. And really… we keep on telling them how to go about it… it’s not like we do not explain the emotions we show… they just don’t get the hang of it and so we women assume that they just don’t want to…

And then more fights and more tears and the woman has to be the understanding, forgiving one (of course!) and peace reigns once more with promises and apologies from the male…

Men. We can’t do with them and we can’t do without them.

And yet there are men who are sensible and sensitive. My dad is one and I respect him dearly. Somehow he always knows the right thing to do. Of course my mom does not give him much to think about… No mind-boggling emotions to decipher there!

Someday I hope to share the same relationship with my partner that exists between my parents…

Speaking of which, how I wish there was some mind-reading tool you could use on a person… Sigh… life would be a lot easier without any pretense.

There would be no need to show how happy you are when inside all you want to do is curl up like a ball and cry. No need to hide what you feel for the sake of others. No masks. No walls.

Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much... for fear that the other person may not care as much, or at all.

MUSINGS

Should you leave everything into Fate’s hands or control your own destiny? A thought that plagues many…

Is it better to fight for what you believe in or give into circumstances?

Courage is what you need to fight against the fates when they conspire against you but this you can do only if you have that desire within you to fight for what you believe in and love…

Otherwise sit back and watch your life spiral out of control…

EGO. That three-letter word that ruins friendships and all kinds of relationships… Why is it, I wonder? Why do we allow ourselves to be caught in a whirlpool of emotions that are so negative and only draw us away from those who we love? If we really loved them would we not put them in front of ourselves? And try and understand the other person’s feelings first instead of obsessing about the fact of who is right and who is wrong.

The article in today’s Sunday times as usual makes a lot of sense and sparks off a lot of thought-provoking comments… It’s beautiful the way relationships are portrayed and built… However I disagree with one fact they say… If it’s lovely to start laughing in the middle of an argument, I don’t see how any point is going to come across… The truth is anything can be worked out only if the other person is willing to listen… change is too much to ask for… but maybe… just maybe you could have given the other person something to think about.

A true friend is one who is patient with you. A true friend waits for you to come out of your crazy mood swings, does not allow him/her to be fazed by your hurtful comments and knows that in the end you do care for him/her. There is no ego between two friends. There is no thinking before who takes the first step… Likewise, it applies to a relationship between two people. There is no running away in times of difficulty and they stick with you through thick and thin. That is why we have families.

I take this opportunity to thank the people in my life for being there for me… No matter what I do, I’m always forgiven…

I also wonder at the relationships that have failed in my life… I am surprised that I have no regrets. No regrets whatsoever because I shared wonderful moments with them and as hard as I try to remember any bad ones, I come up with only good ones. Sometimes things don’t work out when you realize that the value you give to some people is not reciprocated and you come away feeling empty.

However, everything happens for a reason and the saying ‘This too shall pass’ has given me a lot of strength.

It would be nice if time machines existed though…

There is that elusive love...

Sometimes the mythical love-at-first-sight happens and sometimes love takes time to evolve... First comes fondness for each other and then comes the lightning bolt (chuckle!) that makes you realize that he/she is the one... First of all, is there really an age to fall in love? Is there supposedly a 'right' time? Can we handle what happens after the first three heady months of perfection where warnings go unheeded and those who tell you to come back to earth are just ignored? They don't understand... apparently. You know what you are doing…

And the other person seems so delightful… How can anything go wrong? And slowly skeletons leap out of the closet… and the relationship needs to be worked on but there is still commitment… that comfort level you feel you cannot get anywhere else… 

Do we search for someone when we get lonely? Or when we want to use them? Or if we feel we cannot get anyone else whose thoughts and ideas are so alike? Or just to have some fun with?

Maybe there is no such thing as love. At least it’s time to revise its definition.

Why do break-ups happen? Why do divorces occur? The promises made are forgotten… If it is love, are we not supposed to stick through thick and thin? Promises should be made only when they are intended to be kept. Maybe relationships should be encouraged only when both parties are mature enough to handle it…

Its funny how sometimes couples realize in the end that they did not know each other at all in the end… How misunderstandings arise and accusations are hurled… Hurt, betrayal and anger pour out like venom and the good times are forgotten…

There is no such thing as love between two human beings… there is caring, understanding and commitment. Human beings are too selfish to understand what love means… Of course, the only love that can exist is between a mother and her child… that love is unselfish. A mother only gives… without taking. When two people commit to each other, there will always be a conflict between giving and taking. Couples that can have one person giving and the other one taking are rare… and the ones that stick together do have one person giving more…

When a relationship has someone pouring all their energy into making it work, it is not worth it. When the other person is afraid of the obstacles faced, the only way is to exit gracefully mostly for the good of the other person because the expectations have hit rock bottom.

It’s funny how even when the relationship ends you can’t help defending the other person in front of all the ‘I told you so..s’ Is it because we cannot face the fact that we made a mistake? That we made a wrong choice? Mistakes are made to be learnt from.

No one can understand what one goes through after a relationship fails… Let it be a friendship or with a loved one… Sure there will be support… but in the end all the demons have to be dealt with internally…

If only everyone quoted Adele’s lyrics to each other…

Never mind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you, too. Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said... Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead. Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.

Time will heal all. The bitterness will fade away.

But really, I ask, what does love mean to you? Just out of curiosity…